we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize