So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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