So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
