I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love having hate sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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