Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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