If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
