i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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