I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm passing your future prison.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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