I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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