What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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