My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My cat gives me a boner
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
