i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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