O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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