No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
