physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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