Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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