Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
