I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He has the fingertips of a God
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