Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
His nipple licking is glorious
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