I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
