my mouth tastes like poor choices
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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