so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
