Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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