You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
