I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
