I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
