i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
