would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
