Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
