i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
