Your favorite bartender is back from prision
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Enjoy the penises
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize