she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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