I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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