Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Couch. On fire.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
