At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
