My boss' voice literally gives me gas
meet me or not, i'm out of control
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
