Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
