2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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