Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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