I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Fuck appropriateness.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
