She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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