I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
zippers are such a cool invention
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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