haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
