I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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