I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
