i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You dont lie about slip and slides
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
