I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
