You work out of a Hotel?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
