hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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