I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
