these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
