i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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