ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
