You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize