I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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