Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
