I wish my penis had an off switch
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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