You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
