I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
