I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize