I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
