I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This show inspires me to have sex in space
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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